OK, here it is, my first blog of my World Tour. Premature I agree, but it's better to be early for a World Tour than late.  I have noticed that the word "blog" has a red squiggly line under it, and when I right clicked on the red squiggly line, it suggests, "glob, bog, slog, log and biog"! I don't think I've ever come across the word "glob" except maybe in Blackadder, but I have come across the word BLOG! Especially on a BLOGGING SITE you thick auto correct PRICK!!!

Using capitals and bold, was that a bit overkill? Hey I've even got italics now, except I don't know how to stop them.  Apparently you space bar away from them until they no longer have any influence over what you're typing. A bit like separating you from your mate at school and making you both move your desks to opposite sides of  the classroom.  That's what I learnt at school, separation prevents influence.

I haven't said anything about my World Tour yet, because that, as said previously, would be premature. It's called "One Man, Two Spoons and a Ukulele World Tour" because they are to be my travelling companions. I could, I've just noticed, put a photo up on my blog, red squiggly line again.  I've just added it to the dictionary, making me a modern day Samuel Johnson, I hope mankind will remember me for this act. I did notice whilst doing so, that I could have clicked on "google suggestions", had I done so, I would have suggested they update their own fucking dictionary in future, but given that "google" also has a red squiggly line beneath it, I doubt that they  would have taken any notice.

I almost forgot about the photo that I could have put up. I was about to tell you that I could put one up but I'm not going to because I haven't bought the Ukulele I'm going to travel with and the spoons are a little bit "hot" as they say on Crimewatch. I prefer to use the term, "liberated".

The World Tour starts on 23rd October 2012. I'm having a trial run before then when I go to Solfest on the "One Man, Two Spoons and a Uke plus Alex World Tour". From there I will be going to Leeds to have a farewell meal with my siblings, tempting fate a bit as during the last 5 years we have only seen each other to bury other members of our family.

While I was thinking about what to write next my pornographic screensaver distracted me and is demanding my attention. Yes she's disappeared for now but she's persistent so I'll write again soon when I've got something to say, meanwhile, I have things to do.